"I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at
the dog. "HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on
a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began to howl.

The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Good Lord! He's Pentecostal!"

I used to say, with a cheeky grin & wink, "You don't NEED to be Mennonite to get to Heaven, but why on Earth would you take any chances?"

Heard it at MissionsFest when it was in Vancouver late last millennium , but
as "Baptist". . . :)

Cheekiness is not denomination-specific. . . :D

A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate
blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"

Q: What do Kermit the Frog, John the Baptist and Vlad the Impaler have in common?
A: Same Middle Name

I drove by two First Baptist Churches today.
One of them is lying

A son asks his father for a new car for his birthday...
Son: Dad, I turn 16 in a few months and would really like a car for my birthday.

Father: Well son, I’ll make a deal with you. If you do three things for me, I’ll get you the car. First, you need to improve your grades. Second, I want you to see you in church every Sunday. And finally, I want you to cut your
long hair.

A FEW MONTHS PASS

Son: Dad, next week is my birthday and I’ve done everything you asked. Can I get a car?

Father: I did notice you got straight A’s on your report card and I’ve seen
you at church every Sunday. But you didn’t cut you hair. I told you to cut
your hair.

Son: I wanted to talk to you about that. In bible study I learned that Moses, John the Baptist, and Jesus all had long hair.

Father: Yes they did. And they walked everywhere they went.

My pastor was talking about the influences of mothers in our lives... He proceeded to talk about how his daughter danced and had pleased Herod, and he offered her anything she wanted, up to half the kingdom. The dancer consulted her mother, who said she should request John the Baptist's head.

This, he informed us, is how to get a head in life.

Dad tears were present.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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