• Reader's Digest Joke Of T

    From Mike Powell@1:2320/105 to NORTHERN REALMS on Friday, October 07, 2022 17:57:00
    ***** Out of sight *****
    At a Long Island house party, a chap invited an attractive girl to go fishing with him on the Sound. After an hour without any luck, he asked, "Do you think
    we ought to try chumming?"
    His companion, a novice at fishing, looked toward the house on the distant shore, then replied, "We might as well. They can't see us from there."
    --John C. Miller
    RD Issue: July 1957

    Now I am wondering what she thought it meant! :D

    Mike


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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to Mike Powell on Saturday, October 08, 2022 11:37:00
    Mike,

    RD Issue: July 1957

    Now I am wondering what she thought it meant! :D

    I always loved reading the humor columns from Reader's Digest. :)

    Daryl

    ... What do you mean QWK?? It took me over an hour to read and reply!!
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  • From Charles Blackburn@1:135/395 to Mike Powell on Sunday, October 09, 2022 09:25:52
    Re: Reader's Digest Joke Of T
    By: Mike Powell to NORTHERN REALMS on Fri Oct 07 2022 17:57:00

    ***** Out of sight *****
    At a Long Island house party, a chap invited an attractive girl to go fishing with him on the Sound. After an hour
    without any luck, he asked, "Do you think
    we ought to try chumming?"
    His companion, a novice at fishing, looked toward the house on the distant shore, then replied, "We might as well. They
    can't see us from there."
    --John C. Miller
    RD Issue: July 1957

    Now I am wondering what she thought it meant! :D

    i doubt it was the dictionary version of it for sure:

    chum1
    /CH?m/
    Learn to pronounce
    INFORMAL
    verb
    gerund or present participle: chumming
    be friendly to or form a friendship with someone.
    "they started chumming around in high school"

    regards

    Charles Blackburn
    ===

    Charles Blackburn
    The F.B.O BBS 21:1/221 618:250/36
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  • From Mike Powell@1:2320/105 to DARYL STOUT on Sunday, October 09, 2022 10:56:00
    I always loved reading the humor columns from Reader's Digest. :)

    Me, too. I used to read them at the Dr office (when they had them!) just
    for the humor pages.

    Mike


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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to Mike Powell on Monday, October 10, 2022 18:09:00
    Mike,

    Me, too. I used to read them at the Dr office (when they had them!)
    just for the humor pages.

    That's what I did...I didn't care for much of the rest of it.

    Daryl

    ... A Sysop and his money are soon...Hey!! Where's my wallet??!!
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to All on Friday, October 14, 2022 07:28:54
    ***** Out of sight *****
    At a Long Island house party, a chap invited an attractive girl to go fishing
    with him on the Sound. After an hour without any luck, he asked, "Do you think
    we ought to try chumming?"
    His companion, a novice at fishing, looked toward the house on the distant shore, then replied, "We might as well. They can't see us from there."
    --John C. Miller
    RD Issue: July 1957

    Reminds me of the co-ed on a date whose new EngLit beau asked, "Do you like Kipling?"

    She giggled & replied, "I don't know--I've never kippled."

    For me the giggle seals it. . . Time for him to invent a new game called kipling! If he doesn't, his tuition was a waste of money -- he's too stupid to make it in the real world!

    I'd go with: It's a combination of kissing & just the tip..ling. . . Shall we head over to my place to try it out? (hey,this is one of the 5 most told lies by men: "I'll only put the tip in, I promise.")



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  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Mike Powell on Friday, October 14, 2022 07:36:10
    ***** Out of sight *****
    At a Long Island house party, a chap invited an attractive girl to go fishing >> with him on the Sound. After an hour without any luck, he asked, "Do you
    think
    we ought to try chumming?"
    His companion, a novice at fishing, looked toward the house on the distant >> shore, then replied, "We might as well. They can't see us from there."
    --John C. Miller
    RD Issue: July 1957
    Now I am wondering what she thought it meant! :D

    Getting real "chummy"?

    Like the guy who had a boat docked near the campus & loved to take girls out for a weekend on the water, for the ambiance & of course, for romance (maybe a little chumming?)

    He started with a brunette. . .about halfway out, he was trying to decide which way they should turn to travel along the coast, & asked her, "Up or down?"

    She said up, as it looked nice that way, & they sailed the day away, with him vainly trying to upgrade their relationship level to "did it."

    Next time he took a redhead, who answered down(southerly) & they had a nice day, without the upgrade he was looking for.

    Then he took a blonde out, asked her the question & she stripped herself, then hm, then they spent the rest of the day doing every kind of sexual act imaginable(including chumming)

    Afterwards, on the way back to port, he asked her what got her in the mood so well. (so he'd know for others -- he was still tantalized by the redhead.)

    She answered, "Well, duh, you took me out too far to swim back, then told me, 'F*** or drown.'"


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  • From Mike Powell@1:2320/105 to GEORGE POPE on Monday, October 17, 2022 14:40:00
    She answered, "Well, duh, you took me out too far to swim back, then told me, 'F*** or drown.'"

    Not just blonde but a little hard of hearing, too. :D


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  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Mike Powell on Wednesday, October 19, 2022 13:59:32
    She answered, "Well, duh, you took me out too far to swim back, then told me, >> 'F*** or drown.'"
    Not just blonde but a little hard of hearing, too. :D

    Right in my wheelhouse!

    Especially with the last couple gals turned off by my dirty talk.

    A blond was sitting at a bar wondering... ...why she only has three sisters but her brother has four

    not all blondes are women:

    Guy used to be in the army. Real good looking guy too. Blond hair, tall, blue eyes. But now tends to sick animals, helping to diagnose and treat them so they can get better.
    He's a veteran Aryan.

    But tradition beckons. . .

    A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?" She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"

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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to Jay Harris on Thursday, October 20, 2022 16:30:00
    Jay,

    ***** All bottled up *****
    "We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin
    the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a nickel. By the time I was 14, I
    owned my own house." --Gene Perret, Classic One-Liners
    RD Issue: June 1997

    No wonder so many folks are in bankruptcy now.

    Daryl

    ... "A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Thursday, October 20, 2022 16:31:00
    George,

    A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it
    cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
    She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"

    Sounds like music to one's ears. <G>

    Daryl

    ... "A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to Jay Harris on Monday, October 24, 2022 02:04:00
    Jay,

    ***** Kid's logic *****
    A Stanford University professor took his young son with him on a trip across the country. One day after their return, a package was delivered with postage due. Neither the professor nor his wife had the necessary
    $3, but their son produced it. Surprised, his mother asked how he came
    to have that much money. "Well," he said, "Dad was awfully careless
    with money on our trip and nearly always left some on the table when we ate. So I just picked it up." --D. Elton Trueblood
    RD Issue: January 1950

    A tip to the smartness of the kid. <G>

    Daryl

    ... There are many internet scams; send me $20 to learn how.
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to Jay Harris on Tuesday, October 25, 2022 21:36:00
    Jay,

    "Not much of a driver, either," says the waitress. "He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."

    Truly, revenge is a dish best served cold. <G>

    Daryl

    ... I'm Droopy of Borg. You know what?? You're about to be assimilated.
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to Jay Harris on Tuesday, October 25, 2022 21:41:00
    Jay,

    Restaurant patron: "Waiter, I'd like a bottle of wine."
    Waiter: "What year, sir?"
    Patron: "Well, I'd like it right now."

    Or, when the maitre'd asks a customer "Wine, sir??".

    The man starts sobbing uncontrollably, "Well, if you insist!!". <G>

    Daryl

    ... I'm Drunk Of Borg. Resistance Is Floor Tile.
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Tuesday, November 01, 2022 07:56:02
    ... I'm Droopy of Borg. You know what?? You're about to be assimilated.


    We are Dyslexic Kinkos of Borg, prepare to be Ass-laminated!

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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Wednesday, November 02, 2022 01:24:00
    George,

    ... I'm Droopy of Borg. You know what?? You're about to be assimilated.

    We are Dyslexic Kinkos of Borg, prepare to be Ass-laminated!

    More like this tagline.

    Daryl

    ... I'm Dyslexia of Borg. Prepare to have your @$$ laminated!!
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Wednesday, November 02, 2022 01:26:00
    George,

    I tried that game, Seven Minutes in Heaven, where two people go into a dark closet for 7 minutes; it ended up being 6 minutes of screeching
    from her, & a black eye for me. . .

    The only reason I came out of the closet, is because it was dark in
    there. <G>

    Daryl

    ... Flies spread disease -- keep yours zipped, please.
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Wednesday, November 02, 2022 01:27:00
    George,

    Universal Instructions for babies:

    1. Fill noisy end
    2. Empty smelly end
    3. Go to 1.

    Forever and ever, Amen. :P

    Hmmm...sounds like a song by Randy Travis. <G>

    Seriously, it is...the video in it was from his sister's wedding.

    Daryl

    ... Bar Exam: How much tequila you can drink before you hit the floor.
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