A robber tries to rob a bank, and is told by one of the tellers that
he is at the wrong window. He immediately brandishes his weapon, and announces that this is a robbery. He is promptly ignored by everyone
in the bank. Shortly thereafter, he storms out the door with nothing...
and muttering about the lousy service and rude employees.

Smart people tend to get real jobs, not become crooks. . .

A robber goes into a doughnut shop and tries to rob the place. He immediately is arrested by a police officer who was in the shop at the time...and the officer was in uniform!!

Something some thing unsmart-donkey

In a Catholic School Cafeteria, one end of one of the tables has a bowl full of red, delicious apples. One of the nuns has written and placed a
sign next to the bowl, stating "Take only ONE apple...God is watching
you". Meanwhile, at the other end of the table, is a bowl of chocolate
chip cookies. One of the little kids writes his own sign, and places it
by them, which states "Take ALL the cookies you want...God is watching
the apples".

Cute. Reminds me of the time a mom was trying to teach her boys aboupt
sharing & giving. She put out two cookies - one normal sized, & one more
than double sized. She knew the elder one usually grabs the biggest right
off, with his faster speed & better aim, so she's talking to him, saying, "If Jesus was here, he'd take the smaller one & leave the larger for someone
else."

Right away the overly smart older brother calls out, "Okay, Timmy, you be Jesus!"

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Smart people tend to get real jobs, not become crooks. . .

With what they have now, they're encouraging laziness.

A robber goes into a doughnut shop and tries to rob the place. He immediately is arrested by a police officer who was in the shop at the time...and the officer was in uniform!!

Something some thing unsmart-donkey

Just like robbing a bank in your work uniform, and using your deposit
slip as the stick-up note.

Right away the overly smart older brother calls out, "Okay, Timmy, you
be Jesus!"

I'll bet The Lord was smiling on that one.

Daryl

... When I'm naked in the bathroom, the shower is turned on.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

George,

Smart people tend to get real jobs, not become crooks. . .

With what they have now, they're encouraging laziness.

What's that then?

A robber goes into a doughnut shop and tries to rob the place. He immediately is arrested by a police officer who was in the shop at the time...and the officer was in uniform!!

Something some thing unsmart-donkey

Just like robbing a bank in your work uniform, and using your deposit
slip as the stick-up note.

Or ther teller,. surmising the robber wasn't too bright, by his grammar & spelling on the stickup note, who said she needs to see ID for such a large withdrawal. Doofus is giddy, thinking she's really going to give it to him,
& produces his driver's license. She copiesthe info down, gives it to him
plus a sack of $1 bills. The police were waiting for him when he got home.

I love these stories, especially because so many are true!

Right away the overly smart older brother calls out, "Okay, Timmy,

you

be Jesus!"

I'll bet The Lord was smiling on that one.

Of course! He invented humour & laughter!

I got reported in a Christian echo (on FamilyNet) for posting:

Little Jimmy(5yo) went to see his classmate, Sally. Her mom sent hm
downstairs to her room, where he knocked on the door.

Sally replies, "Hang on, Mommy says little girls shouldn't be seen by boys
when she's in her nightie."

Jimmy sat down beside the door to ponder this updatd bit about adult morals.

Soon she calls out, "Okay, Jimmy, you can come in now,. I took it off."

Cute & innocently adorable, right, & funny for the innocent misunderstanding?

Good thing the areafix dude knew me well, & warned me of a tight*ss weinie in the group. I told him the joke & he roared! (he has a little girl)

Then he made me the official Mod for the group! *LOL*

Laugh, kukkaburra, laugh!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

Daryl Stout wrote to All <=-

A robber goes into a doughnut shop and tries to rob the place. He immediately is arrested by a police officer who was in the shop at the time...and the officer was in uniform!!

He must be related to the robber who tried to rob a gun shop, and didn't notice the two police cars he had to walk around to get into the store.


... Procrastination Day Has Been Postponed!
___ MultiMail/Linux v0.52

--- Mystic BBS/QWK v1.12 A47 2021/06/19 (Windows/32)
* Origin: commconnbbs.net (1:120/457)

Ron,

A robber goes into a doughnut shop and tries to rob the place. He immediately is arrested by a police officer who was in the shop at the time...and the officer was in uniform!!

He must be related to the robber who tried to rob a gun shop, and
didn't notice the two police cars he had to walk around to get into the store.

In a word, WOW!!

There are such things as "blonde males". In this small town, this guy,
is walking down the street, naked as a jaybird. The sheriff asks him
"What's The Big Idea??". He said "Well, I met this good looking woman
in the bar, and she took me back to her motel room. We took off all our clothes, and she said 'Now, go to town!!'. So, here I am!!" <G>.

Daryl

... Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

George,

With what they have now, they're encouraging laziness.

What's that then?

Paying them more to stay home than to go to work.

Or ther teller,. surmising the robber wasn't too bright, by his grammar
& spelling on the stickup note, who said she needs to see ID for such a large withdrawal. Doofus is giddy, thinking she's really going to give
it to him, & produces his driver's license. She copiesthe info down,
gives it to him plus a sack of $1 bills. The police were waiting for
him when he got home.

Dumb Criminals 101. <G>

I love these stories, especially because so many are true!

Or, how about this one??

This was circulating on one of the ham radio modes (packet),
and sent to me by a fellow ham radio operator in one of the BBS
echoes...it's A.A.A.D.D.

***

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first...

But then I think,
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table,
And see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking .

I'm going to look for my cheques,
But first I need to push the Pepsi aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter ,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter,
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favour
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

***

Of course! He invented humour & laughter!

God had a sense of humor...he created us. :P

Soon she calls out, "Okay, Jimmy, you can come in now,. I took it off."

LOL!!

Cute & innocently adorable, right, & funny for the innocent misunderstanding?

It's like the children's sermon on Easter Sunday...when the preacher
asked if they knew what a resurrection was. One little boy said "If
you have one for more than 4 hours, you need to go to the hospital!!".
It brought the house down in laughter, and the preacher was understandably
red as a tomato. <G>

Good thing the areafix dude knew me well, & warned me of a tight*ss
weinie in the group. I told him the joke & he roared! (he has a little girl)

I've heard far worse...it all depends on where your mind is.

In a skit I did for ham radio, it was full of ham radio terms, but
they were also puns. To a non-ham, it wouldn't make much sense, or it
sounded downright vulgar. But, to a ham radio operator, they made the connection. Here's the "Readers Digest Version":

I united Ham and Radio in Holy Telephony...and said to Ham that
"You may now kiss the mic". We understand that the reception was
excellent. And, the honeymoon...with details brought to us by a
trusted group of Official Observers...was because he could not
resistor. After turning down the lights, and putting on some soft
JT-65 music, Ham and Radio assumed positions of horizontal and
vertical polarization, as they got to intimately know each other.
They wanted to zero beat their frequencies, as he wanted to work
up her sideband. But, they had to be careful to not put the wedding
gifts of Morse Keyers where they'd sleep. Otherwise, they'd become
infested with bedbugs, and that'd be a real pain in the brass.

Folks wanting the entire version can go to www.qrz.com and search
for WX4QZ -- once there, click on the hyperlink, and scroll down to
the Ham Radio Humor PDF file. That's not the only thing in there,
and it's guaranteed to make one laugh...especially if they're a ham
radio operator.

Then he made me the official Mod for the group! *LOL*

Laugh, kukkaburra, laugh!

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I tell folks that be serious enough to obey the rules, but not
so serious as to not have a sense of humor. As Roger Rabbit so
rightly noted, "If you don't have a sense of humor, you're better
off dead!!".

Daryl

... What is a Zebra?? 25 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

With what they have now, they're encouraging laziness.

What's that then?

Paying them more to stay home than to go to work.

I think veterans SHOULD be getting this deal!

Mostr Commonwealth countries pay a stipend to parenrts to help raise theirchildren (until age 18, in Canada)

Some, a rare miniority, do think it's a hoib to squirt them out one after the other for the increased baby bonus cheque each month, & higher welfare, natch

I'm not a cop, so I dn't investigaste rumours of such. I just wish every
parent well on the tough job of raising the next generation. . .

Dumb Criminals 101. <G>

There's a file on my DOS computer (not hooked up) called exactly that!

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder.

Classic -- I knew it well, before I got the name of it in this echo back in
the '90s. .

I take my cheque book off the table,
And see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking .

Nice! Canadian or UK origin, as cheque is spelled correctly! ;)

It's like the children's sermon on Easter Sunday...when the preacher
asked if they knew what a resurrection was. One little boy said "If
you have one for more than 4 hours, you need to go to the hospital!!".
It brought the house down in laughter, and the preacher was understandably red as a tomato. <G>

Like the child who innocently asked, during a srmon, "What is butt dust?" (after pastor said "Lord, we are but dust in Your sight.")

Another Kindergartner in Sunday scool was asked to define "faith" & answered "Believing somethiung that you know isn't true."

Of course, too many adults, including her parentsm, think that way. . .

Truthfully the original word in the Bible is "trust"

You trust Whom you know & recognize as your heavenly Father.

Israel didn't have "faith" while traveling in the deserty for 40 years --
they had tyrust in the Onme Whose physical presence led the way & Who had
with great signs, freed them from pharaoh. . . then we have trust in our parents who tell us of the first-hand bases for the trust in God they have. .
.

Or, one who joins as a convert trusts the friends s/he hears from. . .

The little girl defines "faith" as used today, well enough. . .

I put my trust the One Who has kept me safe to this day, from various threats
& dangers. . .

Innocence. . .

I got very annoyed when I found one of our cats, Steve, perched on a
manyberry berry pie I had just baked. I was ready to yell at him when my son
- 12 at the time - exclaimed "Stop Mom! Don't yell... he's just an innocent
Pie Stander!"
Steve was not yelled at.

Q: Which American president was the least guilty?
A: Abraham Lincoln. He was in a cent.

My wife called me up from the animal shelter the other day wanting to adopt a dog. Since money is tight current, I specifically said "0 canine". Now I'm
the proud owner of 9 German shepherd pups and will from now on pronounce "0"
as "Zero".

Good thing the areafix dude knew me well, & warned me of a tight*ss weinie in the group. I told him the joke & he roared! (he has a

little

girl)

I've heard far worse...it all depends on where your mind is.

In a skit I did for ham radio, it was full of ham radio terms, but
they were also puns. To a non-ham, it wouldn't make much sense, or it sounded downright vulgar. But, to a ham radio operator, they made the connection. Here's the "Readers Digest Version":

I united Ham and Radio in Holy Telephony...and said to Ham that
"You may now kiss the mic". We understand that the reception was
excellent. And, the honeymoon...with details brought to us by a
trusted group of Official Observers...was because he could not
resistor. After turning down the lights, and putting on some soft
JT-65 music, Ham and Radio assumed positions of horizontal and
vertical polarization, as they got to intimately know each other.
They wanted to zero beat their frequencies, as he wanted to work
up her sideband. But, they had to be careful to not put the wedding
gifts of Morse Keyers where they'd sleep. Otherwise, they'd become
infested with bedbugs, and that'd be a real pain in the brass.

Folks wanting the entire version can go to www.qrz.com and search
for WX4QZ -- once there, click on the hyperlink, and scroll down to
the Ham Radio Humor PDF file. That's not the only thing in there,
and it's guaranteed to make one laugh...especially if they're a ham
radio operator.

Then he made me the official Mod for the group! *LOL*

Laugh, kukkaburra, laugh!

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I tell folks that be serious enough to obey the rules, but not
so serious as to not have a sense of humor. As Roger Rabbit so
rightly noted, "If you don't have a sense of humor, you're better
off dead!!".

Daryl

... What is a Zebra?? 25 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Paying them more to stay home than to go to work.

I think veterans SHOULD be getting this deal!

Agreed,

Some, a rare miniority, do think it's a hoib to squirt them out one
after the other for the increased baby bonus cheque each month, &
higher welfare, natch

I heard that one woman was told by a judge, that if she got pregnant
again, he'd have her forcibly sterilized, and make her pay for the
procedure. She probably threatened to sue for discrimination.

I'm not a cop, so I dn't investigaste rumours of such. I just wish
every parent well on the tough job of raising the next generation. . .

Dumb Criminals 101. <G>

There's a file on my DOS computer (not hooked up) called exactly that!

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder.

Classic -- I knew it well, before I got the name of it in this echo
back in the '90s. .

I just saw it in the last 2 weeks.

Nice! Canadian or UK origin, as cheque is spelled correctly! ;)

Do they play chequers?? <G>

Like the child who innocently asked, during a srmon, "What is butt
dust?" (after pastor said "Lord, we are but dust in Your sight.")

That's it!! <G>

Another Kindergartner in Sunday scool was asked to define "faith" & answered "Believing somethiung that you know isn't true."

Oh, boy!!

Of course, too many adults, including her parents, think that way. . .

It only has to be tried once to be verified...but there are so many
"doubting Thomas's" nowadays.

Truthfully the original word in the Bible is "trust"

You trust Whom you know & recognize as your heavenly Father.

Exactly.

Israel didn't have "faith" while traveling in the desert for 40 years
-- they had trust in the One Whose physical presence led the way &
Who had with great signs, freed them from pharaoh. . . then we have
trust in our parents who tell us of the first-hand bases for the trust
in God they have. . .

But, they would so many times, do the things The Lord had told them not
to do. We're no better than them. We did the same things with our parents,
and sometimes "you just have to learn the hard way".

I put my trust the One Who has kept me safe to this day, from various threats & dangers. . .

When I saved the life of the shuttle bus driver at the square dance convention in Orlando 24 years ago, the Angel Of The Lord was with me.
I could've been shot by the guard who assaulted the bus driver, and I
could've been hit by lightning (a thunderstorm was in progress, and my
ham radio handi-talkie had a metal antenna on it).

I got very annoyed when I found one of our cats, Steve, perched on a manyberry berry pie I had just baked. I was ready to yell at him when
my son - 12 at the time - exclaimed "Stop Mom! Don't yell... he's just
an innocent Pie Stander!"

Or there is a special wedding pie, as it has meringue (my ring) in it.

Q: Which American president was the least guilty?
A: Abraham Lincoln. He was in a cent.

That's like the joke (that I may have told before), that got pulled on
me at a square dance festival.

This single woman walked up to me, and asked me if I could answer a
few questions for her. When I said "yes", she opened her hand to reveal
2 pennies...one face up, and one face down.

She asked these 3 questions:

1) Do you see any snakes here??
2) Do you see any automobiles here??
3) Do you see any sex here??

I answered "No" on each of them, and this is what I was told.

1) You have a copperhead (Lincoln's head).
2) You have a Lincoln (the Memorial).
3) You're not going to see any. What did you expect for 2 cents, you cheapskate??

With that, she grinned, and walked away. <G>

Then, I knocked over a cup of water below the chair, and it looked
like I just wet myself. Another dancer, grinning wryly, said "You just
couldn't wait!!", and blushing I said "I wanna go hide". :P

Daryl

... If you hear an Onion Ring, please answer it.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

I heard that one woman was told by a judge, that if she got pregnant again, he'd have her forcibly sterilized, and make her pay for the procedure. She probably threatened to sue for discrimination.

Probably. Our judges are doing this, too these days, for chronic pregnasaurs gaming the system instyead of exercising ANY responsibility or personal accountability for their own freely made choices.

This single woman walked up to me, and asked me if I could answer a
few questions for her. When I said "yes", she opened her hand to reveal
2 pennies...one face up, and one face down.

She asked these 3 questions:

1) Do you see any snakes here??
2) Do you see any automobiles here??
3) Do you see any sex here??

I answered "No" on each of them, and this is what I was told.

1) You have a copperhead (Lincoln's head).
2) You have a Lincoln (the Memorial).
3) You're not going to see any. What did you expect for 2 cents, you cheapskate??

With that, she grinned, and walked away. <G>

Then, I knocked over a cup of water below the chair, and it looked
like I just wet myself. Another dancer, grinning wryly, said "You just couldn't wait!!", and blushing I said "I wanna go hide". :P

Fun! & a good story to tell! :D

I Asked a girl if she'd have sex with me for $100,000. She said for that
much money, of course! Then I asked how about for $5?

She hot huffy & said, "What do you think I am?"

I said, "We've already established that--now we're negotiating the price"
[not a true story, as far as I know]

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)