George,

You sure seem like the guy, including your love of meteorology
(including knowing it has nothing to do with falling space rocks) ;)

I'll have to remember that one. <G>

I'm pretty sure Thunderbolt BBS (in your orgin line) had a Forida area code when I called it. . .

If there was one, it wasn't mine...I didn't even know BBS's existed until
7 years after family got transplanted to Arkansas from Florida.

You used to rag me about Canada being so cold, while seeing more snow
than I do/did!

The whole weather picture is topsy turvy. I was in Miami when it snowed
in 1977, and while it didn't "stick", it was observed. Much of the peninsula (except the extreme south) went below freezing overnight, and much of the state's citrus crop that year was wiped out. It ended up being "Florida
oranges from California".

I'm kind of pissed off that the creeping Ice Age has killed the
grapefruit growing territory of Florida, & I can't get my jug of pure unsweetened white grapefruit juice each week any more. . . :'(

I never cared for grapefruit juice, and the orange juice gives me canker sores in my mouth. I've been wearing dentures for 21 years now.

I've h eard somethig similar. . . I don't have to have any love for
"Sky- Feces" (what I call it), though. . . especially being in a wheelchair. . .

I may eventually end up in one...I've been disabled since 2004, and they
keep finding stuff wrong with me. As for the S.S., think of it as cosmic dandruff. <G>

If it snows 2cm, I'm housebound for weeks until it's all gone, because nobody shovels! (Or they shovel an 8" trail down the centre suitable
only for a supermodel or chihuahua, walking single file)

Or the moment you clear the sidewalk, the snowplow comes by, the dumps
it right back on your sidewalk.

Not a fan of this weither, because locals can't drive in this, & I got
to worry, even on the sidewalk, about getting hit full-on, at speed!

It's so much worse the farther south you get, because this part of the country doesn't see winter storms that often.

This is the worst, yup. . .

When north Arkansas had back to back ice storms in 2000, much of north Arkansas had no power for 2 months.

Lots of that here on the Wet Coast!

And, it's really bad in the fire/burn areas, with all the mudslides.

*G* Yup, you're the guy I recall. . . from my dialling days. . .you
don't remember the guy who called kitty-corner across the continent
nearly daily to hang out on your BBS?

I knew your name sounded familiar.

Yeah, that YouTube cinnamon challenge is dangerous!

I saw a deal on Facebook the other day for cinammon toast cake...
I started drooling. <G> I used to make that years ago, with cinnamon
sugar, butter, and bread...put it in the toaster oven, then graze.

Mine are still original & somewhat well-rooted in my mandible.

I had my 4 wisdom teeth out in 1978, then the rest of the teeth in 2000.
The worst part in both cases wasn't the pain...it was the bleeding.

Starkle, starkle, little twink Who the hell you are, I think
I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am
Besides, I've only had tea martoonies

There you go. When I go to a restaurant, I ask for a pitcher of
sweet tea, because "I'm into heavy drinking". <G> I've found myself
drinking 2 to 3 liters of flavored water in a day...so, I'll give you
3 guesses what that ends up doing overnight, and the first 2 don't
count. <G>

But, the drunker I sit here, the longer I get"

The drunkard's version of Viagra.

Cop sees a man carryinng a desk, computer, & lamp staggering up the sidewalk, & asks him wha he thinks he's doing.

"Impersonating an office, sir!"

Nice pun.

Daryl

... ALGORITHM - Tipper's birth control method.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

I'm pretty sure Thunderbolt BBS (in your orgin line) had a Forida

area

code when I called it. . .

If there was one, it wasn't mine...I didn't even know BBS's existed

until

7 years after family got transplanted to Arkansas from Florida.

How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology, do you figure?

You used to rag me about Canada being so cold, while seeing more snow than I do/did!

The whole weather picture is topsy turvy. I was in Miami when it snowed
in 1977, and while it didn't "stick", it was observed. Much of the

peninsula

(except the extreme south) went below freezing overnight, and much of the state's citrus crop that year was wiped out. It ended up being "Florida oranges from California".

I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that from so far away. . .

I think I'm seeing photos of frozen citrus (covered in ice coats & hanging icicles) every 2-3 years now, from Florida. ..

I'm kind of pissed off that the creeping Ice Age has killed the grapefruit growing territory of Florida, & I can't get my jug of pure unsweetened white grapefruit juice each week any more. . . :'(

I never cared for grapefruit juice, and the orange juice gives me canker sores in my mouth. I've been wearing dentures for 21 years now.

Same for me, with orange juice :( But not grapefruit, for some reason. ..

No dentures yet, bnuit my dentist lasdt wewek said that may soon be the
option for me. ..

I've h eard somethig similar. . . I don't have to have any love for "Sky- Feces" (what I call it), though. . . especially being in a wheelchair. . .

I may eventually end up in one...I've been disabled since 2004, and they keep finding stuff wrong with me. As for the S.S., think of it as cosmic dandruff. <G>

Dandruff is too generous an upgrade from what I think of Sky-feces!

If it snows 2cm, I'm housebound for weeks until it's all gone,

because

nobody shovels! (Or they shovel an 8" trail down the centre suitable only for a supermodel or chihuahua, walking single file)

Or the moment you clear the sidewalk, the snowplow comes by, the dumps
it right back on your sidewalk.

Here they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built in for wheelchairs & others)

Not a fan of this weither, because locals can't drive in this, & I

got

to worry, even on the sidewalk, about getting hit full-on, at speed!

It's so much worse the farther south you get, because this part of the country doesn't see winter storms that often.

Same where I am. 2cm is brutal, normally, bnut the year I movedhere, on Xmas Eve, there was 30 inches overnight! (I was housebound, even though I was to cook a turkey dinner for my old building's seniors & other shutins, & I had
the turkey!)

This is the worst, yup. . .

When north Arkansas had back to back ice storms in 2000, much of north Arkansas had no power for 2 months.

Those are bad anywhere, but worst for those not used to anywinter conditions.

I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything other
than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!

Lots of that here on the Wet Coast!

And, it's really bad in the fire/burn areas, with all the mudslides.

It's dumped a lot of water on them?

*G* Yup, you're the guy I recall. . . from my dialling days. . .you don't remember the guy who called kitty-corner across the continent nearly daily to hang out on your BBS?

I knew your name sounded familiar.

So why denying it? ;)

Yeah, that YouTube cinnamon challenge is dangerous!

I saw a deal on Facebook the other day for cinammon toast cake...
I started drooling. <G> I used to make that years ago, with cinnamon
sugar, butter, and bread...put it in the toaster oven, then graze.

Sounds good. I make the occasional batch of cinnamon toast for the kids
(yeah, the "kids" yup)

My fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)

Mine are still original & somewhat well-rooted in my mandible.

I had my 4 wisdom teeth out in 1978, then the rest of the teeth in 2000. The worst part in both cases wasn't the pain...it was the bleeding.

I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything,
as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

Starkle, starkle, little twink Who the hell you are, I think
I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am
Besides, I've only had tea martoonies

There you go. When I go to a restaurant, I ask for a pitcher of
sweet tea, because "I'm into heavy drinking". <G> I've found myself
drinking 2 to 3 liters of flavored water in a day...so, I'll give you
3 guesses what that ends up doing overnight, and the first 2 don't
count. <G>

I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a year even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to date is
25mm)

One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!

But, the drunker I sit here, the longer I get"

The drunkard's version of Viagra.

Drunks aren't getting a lot of prospects to use it with. . .

Cop sees a man carryinng a desk, computer, & lamp staggering up the sidewalk, & asks him wha he thinks he's doing.

"Impersonating an office, sir!"

Nice pun.

I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new ones
here & there)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology, do
you figure?

Offhand, I don't know. The thing is, I wasn't running a BBS until 1990...
and didn't even know what one was until 1985.

I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that
from so far away. . .

The oranges and grapefruits I don't worry about, as I don't eat them.
In winter weather, around here, they run out of bread, milk, beer, and
toilet paper faster than you can get to the store!! I rarely drink milk anymore, never have cared for beer...but if I'm doing lunch meat
sandwiches, I need bread...and of course, everyone needs toilet paper.

However, I've wondered if toilet paper was reading material in the
bathroom. <G>

Here they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built in
for wheelchairs & others)

Sounds about right.

I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything
other than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!

They drive around here like there are no speed limits, no matter what
the weather.

My fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)

OK, we need 3 minutes to pause for drooling. <G>

I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a year even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to
date is 25mm)

A kidney stone is the closest thing a man can get pain wise to childbirth.
I knew a woman who said she'd rather have quintuplets in hard labor, with no epidural, than one kidney stone. That pretty much sums it up.

Another woman said "If us women can pass a kid, you men can pass a stone"... to which I replied "Unlike the female cervix, the male penis can not dialate".

One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!

Ouch!!

I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new
ones here & there)

Several years ago in Austin, Texas, around early May, they had "The World Championship Pun Off". I went to a few of them many years ago, and the humor
is drier than the Sahara. <G> But, all the proceeds benefited the O. Henry Museum down there.

Daryl

... W-E-H-T-H-U-R: Worst spell of weather in months!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology,

do

you figure?

Offhand, I don't know. The thing is, I wasn't running a BBS until

1990...

and didn't even know what one was until 1985.

This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.

I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that from so far away. . .

The oranges and grapefruits I don't worry about, as I don't eat them.
In winter weather, around here, they run out of bread, milk, beer, and toilet paper faster than you can get to the store!! I rarely drink milk anymore, never have cared for beer...but if I'm doing lunch meat
sandwiches, I need bread...and of course, everyone needs toilet paper.

However, I've wondered if toilet paper was reading material in the bathroom. <G>

You're off the beaten path & not close to a city?

Crummy. . .that can get expensive!

Can you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a lot of
that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.

Here they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built

in

for wheelchairs & others)

Sounds about right.

First time I saw this, I'd come home by bus. Got dropped off across the street, as usual, then wen to wheel across at the corner & nope -- mound of snow ditrectly on the curb cut, so I tried to knock out a path. Luckily a motorist saw me & took pity, using his trunk shovel to clear the way for me.
On the other side, I stayed on the road & wheeled up to the mall driveway.

I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything other than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!

They drive around here like there are no speed limits, no matter what
the weather.

Sounds all too familiar. . .

My fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)

OK, we need 3 minutes to pause for drooling. <G>

I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a

year

even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to date is 25mm)

A kidney stone is the closest thing a man can get pain wise to

childbirth.

I knew a woman who said she'd rather have quintuplets in hard labor, with

no

epidural, than one kidney stone. That pretty much sums it up.

I've met these women, too, & all say kidney stones is a worse pain.

My explanation: both involve something larger going through a smaller
passage.

BUT:
in child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some. (the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end you get a eautiful human baby.

For me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a spiky chunk of rock.

I suggest kidney stones could be compared to giving birth to a dead
porcupine, breach.

Ain't nobody got time for t hat! (apparently, I'll make the time! *sigh*

ObFunny:

A guy in an alley tried to sell me his kidney stones.
I said that's a hard pass for me.

It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true to be properly
considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)

Chuck Norris passed 6 kidney stones...
Thanos used them in his Infinity Gauntlet.

Q: What did the kidney stone say to the man?
A: Urine trouble.

Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
A: It gets kidney stoned.

Another woman said "If us women can pass a kid, you men can pass a stone"... to which I replied "Unlike the female cervix, the male penis can not dialate".

One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!

Ouch!!

I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new ones here & there)

Several years ago in Austin, Texas, around early May, they had "The

World

Championship Pun Off". I went to a few of them many years ago, and the

humor

is drier than the Sahara. <G> But, all the proceeds benefited the O. Henry Museum down there.

Daryl

... W-E-H-T-H-U-R: Worst spell of weather in months!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.

Your name sounds very familiar.

You're off the beaten path & not close to a city?

I'm in the southwest part of Little Rock, but it's a few miles to
the stores where I shop.

Can you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a lot
of that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.

Not the way folks steal stuff out of my mailbox and off my front porch.
Plus, I have chiropractic appointments at midday, and ham radio traffic
nets in the evenings. So, I can't wait forever for these jokers to show up.

I can order groceries from Kroger, and have prescriptions delivered from
my pharmacy, but that adds delivery charges to the bill.

I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

The diet of scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, and ice cream, got old fast.
I can gum stuff now, if needed...but I prefer to graze. <G>

in child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some.
(the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end you get a eautiful human baby.

And, unlike the female cervix, the male penis and urethra cannot dialate.

For me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a spiky chunk of rock.

It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

I suggest kidney stones could be compared to giving birth to a dead porcupine, breach.

Now, that's a royal pain in the posterior and elsewhere!!

ObFunny:

A guy in an alley tried to sell me his kidney stones.
I said that's a hard pass for me.

Sort of like the joke where the coach asked the kid if he could pass
a football. The kid replied "Only if I can swallow it". :P

It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a
baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's
ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true to
be properly considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)

As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".

Q: What did the kidney stone say to the man?
A: Urine trouble.

In spades.

Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
A: It gets kidney stoned.

If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".

Daryl

... There can't be a crisis today; my schedule's already full.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.

Your name sounds very familiar.

How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!

If you Google it, you can find some of our old conversations. . .

Can you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a

lot

of that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.

Not the way folks steal stuff out of my mailbox and off my front porch. Plus, I have chiropractic appointments at midday, and ham radio traffic
nets in the evenings. So, I can't wait forever for these jokers to show

up.

We have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her statuses like a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second they claim
delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.

I can order groceries from Kroger, and have prescriptions delivered from my pharmacy, but that adds delivery charges to the bill.

My pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up when possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.

They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for
something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.

I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

The diet of scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, and ice cream, got old

fast.

I can gum stuff now, if needed...but I prefer to graze. <G>

As promised by my dentist, my extraction holes have toughened up & I can chew with them just fine.

in child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some. (the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end

you

get a eautiful human baby.

And, unlike the female cervix, the male penis and urethra cannot

dialate.

I can directly & recently verify.

For me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a

spiky

chunk of rock.

It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.

It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true

to

be properly considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)

As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".

If men could get pregnant, that means they'd have a womb & they do: womb-men.

Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
A: It gets kidney stoned.

If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".

That's a concert I don't care to experience again! Nothing sly about these little *******s!

I think we've milked renal calculi as far as it'll go, so topic change for
the ObPuns:

When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and the wife said to go in and change him.
So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and left.
-=-
Due to the Coronavirus, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward staff.
It’s a midwife crisis.
-=-
Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.
So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.
-=-
When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave, are they out for delivery? (double relevance to the post! *LOL*)
-=-
At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one my wife did make!"

aaaand. . . .FIN.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!

Do you mean from dial-up or telnet?? I've had some from outside
the US, but they've been from Canada or the UK. However, I've got
the Peerblock utility in place to block hacking attempts from
certain areas. I also have a CAPTCHA sequence that changes around
the clock...if folks don't enter the right code (they're told what
to enter), they're stuck there until they disconnect.

We have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her statuses like a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second they claim delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.

That's the only way to do it.

My pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up when possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.

That's awfully nice of them.

They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.

I was told to order 24 hours before pickup. To give it a break in the
weather (it won't be warm by any means), I'll order stuff Friday, and
have it delivered Saturday afternoon.

It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.

And one heck of a bite!!

As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".

If men could get pregnant, that means they'd have a womb & they do: womb-men.

Touche'. <G>

If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".

That's a concert I don't care to experience again! Nothing sly about
these little *******s!

That's for sure.

When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and the wife said to go in and change him.
So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and left.

ROFLMBO!! That's good!! That's along the line of the "Baby Changing Table" you see in the bathrooms. I guess that's where you change the baby for something else. <G>

-=-
Due to the Coronavirus, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward
staff. It’s a midwife crisis.

For sure. I saw a news story today that "vaccinations should be available
to much of the population by April. Like the weather forecast, I'll believe
it when I see it.

-=-
Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.
So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.

As the late Paul Lynde noted, the only time the unborn baby can see
outside of the womb before birth is during ballet practice. <G>

-=-
When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave, are they out for
delivery? (double relevance to the post! *LOL*)

Never mind Special Delivery.

-=-
At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and
said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one
my wife did make!"

He's not the brightest light in the socket.

Daryl

... Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!

Do you mean from dial-up or telnet?? I've had some from outside
the US, but they've been from Canada or the UK. However, I've got
the Peerblock utility in place to block hacking attempts from
certain areas. I also have a CAPTCHA sequence that changes around
the clock...if folks don't enter the right code (they're told what
to enter), they're stuck there until they disconnect.

I was dial-up only, not telnet. . .

We have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her

statuses

like a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second

they

claim delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.

That's the only way to do it.

We are in Nextdoor (local chat groups, everywhere) & they often put out
photos of porch pirates.

My pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up

when

possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.

That's awfully nice of them.

Very, well, I'm in my 50ss & have many prescriptions, so I guess he comes out ahead, overall.

They used to give out 7X Airmiles(7 per $20), but a law got made stopping
that. :( (government figured part of the fees they paid were being used to
pay for loyalty perks, I guess)

They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.

I was told to order 24 hours before pickup. To give it a break in the weather (it won't be warm by any means), I'll order stuff Friday, and
have it delivered Saturday afternoon.

I get mine usually in 2 hourts if I say "right away" but usually schedule it around my wife's schedule(kids,. dog, beetles), so she's not interrupting to bring the groceries in (& put them away)

It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.

And one heck of a bite!!

rrrripppping & tearing its way through soft flesh. . .

When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and

the

wife said to go in and change him.
So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and

left.

ROFLMBO!! That's good!! That's along the line of the "Baby Changing

Table"

you see in the bathrooms. I guess that's where you change the baby for something else. <G>

I swa a pic of as grafitti'ed chaging table that had a pentagram in the
centre & "place baby here"; wonder how many babies had to wait until they got home for a change!

For sure. I saw a news story today that "vaccinations should be

available

to much of the population by April. Like the weather forecast, I'll

believe

it when I see it.

Yup. Good way to look at it. Hope for best, expect worst - saves the inevitable disappointment of doing it backwards. . .

As the late Paul Lynde noted, the only time the unborn baby can see outside of the womb before birth is during ballet practice. <G>

& in certain amateur & professional internet videos

At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one my wife did make!"

He's not the brightest light in the socket.

Fulldeckisms; Today's date for you is 2/12, so here'dsd 212:

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load."
"Duh!" on parade.
$HOME = /dev/null.
3K RAM free, no EMS.
A .22 caliber intellect in a .357 Magnum world.
A 1.0 in a 4.5 installation.
A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.
A 20th century man... The guy has no future.
A 3.5-inch drive, but data on punch cards.
A bad case of colon nose.
A barnacle on the ship of progress.
A black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem.
A brain like a BB in a boxcar / box of Corn Flakes.
A butter knife in a steak / prime rib world.
A candidate for optorectomy. (Disconnection of optic nerve from rectum, to repair a crappy outlook on life.)
A couple of blocks behind the parade.
A day late and a dollar short.
A deadbolt with a broken cylinder.
A dim bulb in the marquee of life.
A face designed for radio.
A face designed in a wind tunnel.
A few dice short of a full bag / role-player.
A few photons short of a hologram / holodeck.
A flash of light, a cloud of dust, and... What was the question?
A great deal of pride, but very little to be proud of.
A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A hemorrhoid on the face of the world.
A hop, skip, and jump from success, but to get there he'd have to give up chewing gum.
A kangaroo loose in her top paddock.
A lap behind the field.
A legend in his own mind.
A logically defunct twit.
A looney tune.
A lot of feathers but not much chicken. -- Kim Mitchell
A medical mystery.
A mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost. -- Tom Waits
A mind as empty as the sleeping pill concession at a honeymoon hotel.
A mind like wet tennis shoes... Makes squishy noises when running.
A minefield of information.
A modest little person, with much to be modest about. -- Churchill
A natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes.
A Neanderthal brain in a Cro-Magnon body.
A notch off the timing mark.
A one-bit brain with a parity error.
A pacifist out of necessity / always loses in a battle of wits.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
A penalty kick over the bar. (In soccer.)
A peripheral visionary.
A person of rare intelligence... It's rare when he shows any.
A photographic memory, but no film / never developed / the lens cover is
glued on.
A poor excuse for protoplasm.
A prime candidate for natural deselection.
A quart low.
A real rocket scientologist.
A real space cadet.
A return with no gosub.
A room temperature IQ -- centigrade.
A semitone flat on the high notes.
A single-cylinder brain in a V8 world.
A socketless drone in a plug-and-play world.
A square with only three sides.
A standard deviant.
A statue in a world of pigeons.
A T1 line of pure stupid.
A teapot with a cracked lid.
A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs.
A vacuum-tube brain in a microchip world.
A VGA card and a Herc monitor.
A victim of retroactive birth control.
A violin minus the bow.
A walking argument for birth control / post-natal abortion.
A waste of skin.
A wind-up clock without a key.
About half smart.
Adult child of alien invaders.
Afraid she'll void her warranty if she thinks too much.
Ain't no psionicist. (role-playing games)
Airhead / bubble-brain.
Aliens zapped him with a stupidity ray -- twice.
Alive today only because it's illegal to kill him.
All belt, no trousers.
All booster, no payload.
All cassette, no tape.
All crown, no filling.
All fetch and no execute.
All foam, no beer.
All foliage, no fruit.
All hammer, no nail.
All hat and no cattle.
All hawk and no spit. -- Molly Ivins talking about Ross Perot
All he remembers about his middle name is the first letter.
All his eggs in the same basket.
All his learning curves look like Mount Everest.
All icing, no cake.
All lace curtains, no knickers.
All lime and salt, no tequila.
All missile, no warhead.
All of his bytes are odd.
All Preparation, no H.
All shot, no powder.
All show, no go.
All signs and no scenery. -- John Taylor
All the lights don't shine in her marquee.
All the notes, none of the music.
All the personality of linoleum flooring / plasticene / putty / caulking / saran wrap / a bowl of oatmeal / a plastic spoon.
All the sex appeal of a wet paper bag.
All thrust/mach, no vector.
All wax and no wick.
Alphabetizes junk mail / T-shirts / canonical lists.
Already visualizing the duct tape over his mouth.
Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.
Always late... Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
Always needs to have jokes explained.
Always responds to "Make Money Fast" postings on the Net.
Always sharpening his sleeping skills.
Always speaks her mind, so usually she's speechless.
Amplifier turned all the way up but no one's playing / all I hear is white noise.
An 8080 in a 68000 environment.
An AA battery in a D-cell world.
An alligator. (All mouth, no ears.)
An Apple //e on UUCP.
An early example of the Peter Principle.
An ego like a black hole.
An example of how the dinosaurs survived for millions of years with walnut- sized brains.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
An expert on padded cells.
An expert on the historical significance of cottage cheese.
An inch short and a stroke early.
An innundated receptacle of primordial ooze.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
An XT clone in a Pentium zone.
Ano-fossal ambiguity. (Can't tell his ass from a hole in the ground.)
Another engineering prototype that should not have been shipped.
Answers the door when the phone rings.
Any connection between his reality and ours is purely coincidental.
Any similarity between him and a human being is purely coincidental.
Any slower and he'd be in reverse. -- Gignac
Any smarter and he'd be retarded.
Argues with herself -- and loses!
As a baby his parents stood him on his soft spot.
As bent as a corkscrew.
As bright as a nightlight / small appliance bulb / tulip bulb.
As dumb as an ox.
As focused as a fart.
As funny as a fire in a children's home.
As handy as a whiskbroom and twice as intelligent. -- Peter DeVries
As happy as if he had brains / was in his right mind.
As happy as the village idiot.
As popular as a French kiss at a family reunion.
As popular as a pork pie at a Jewish wedding / synagogue.
As queer/rare as a nine bob note. (Very English.)
As quick as a corpse.
As sensible as entering an ass-kicking contest with a porcupine.
As sharp as a bag of wet mice. -- Foghorn Leghorn
As sharp as a donut / marble / bowling ball / beachball / pin head / wet
sponge / bowl of Jello / mashed potato sandwich / boiled weiner / pound of
wet leather, and twice as smart.
As smart as a politician/lawyer is honest.
As smart as an automatic email responder script.
As smart as bait.
As smart as Christie Brinkley is ugly.
As strong as an ox and as dumb as two.
As thick as champ. (Irish; champ is mostly mashed spuds and cabbage.)
As thick as two short planks / two half bricks.
As useful as a back pocket in a vest. (Very English, vest = undershirt.)
As useful as a brick lifevest.
As useful as a carpet fitter's ladder.
As useful as a cheese sandwich to a drowning ferret.
As useful as a chocolate teapot / fireguard.
As useful as a condom vending machine in the Vatican. -- Rimmer, Red Dwarf
As useful as a football bat.
As useful as a fur-lined walking stick.
As useful as a glass hammer.
As useful as a hip pocket on a T-shirt.
As useful as a kickstand on a horse.
As useful as a lead parachute.
As useful as a mint-flavored suppository.
As useful as a spit valve on a guitar.
As useful as a top hat with pockets.
As useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
As useful as an inflatable cheeseknife.
As useful as bolognese sauce on shoe laces.
As useful as bookends down a well.
As useful as dinosaur repellent.
As useful as green stop lights.
As useful as passing gas in a spacesuit / boiler suit.
As useful as piss on a forest fire.
As useful as reverse gear on a lawn mower.
As useful as tits on a bullfrog / bull / boar-hog / turtle.
As welcome as a priest at a cub scout jamboree.
As welcome as John Ashcroft at a NAMBLA convention.
As welcome as Michael Jordan at a Hair Club for Men convention.
As welcome as Saddam Hussein at a Dick Cheney roast.
As welcome as Sara Brady at an NRA convention.
As worn out as a cucumber in a convent.
At least he has a positive attitude about his destructive habits.
Attic's a little dusty.
Back burners not fully operating.
Backstreet Boy in a Talking Heads world.
Bad spot on the disk.
Baler done run out of twine.
Bandwidth limited.
Barney's his hero.
Bats have flown the belfry, and now he's all alone.
Bats in the belfry.
Batteries not included.
Beamed down and back up one too many times.
Beating his head around the bush.
Been napping in front of the ion shield again.
Been one too many times through the wormhole.
Been playing with his wand too much.
Been playing with the pharmacy section again.
Been short on oxygen one time too many.
Been using her head as a mass driver.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)